Long-distance relationships are difficult. No one jumps for joy that their boyfriend or girlfriend lives hours away.
In fact, it’s always the exact opposite. You end up walking around with an agonising feeling that your heart is being carved out of your chest with a dull knife and being replaced by medium- to low-quality video calls and text notification pop-ups.
You Need Something to Look Forward to Together
Uncertainty will make you wonder if what you’re doing is worth it. Do they still feel the same way about you as they did before? Are you two totally incompatible and you just don’t know it?
The longer you’re apart the bigger these doubts will grow, which is why you should always have a date you’re both looking forward to. This is usually when you’ll be able to see each other again, but it can be other big life moments too. Applying for a job in the other person’s city, looking for places to stay where you will both be happy, or even just a holiday together.
If a relationship isn’t moving forward it’s dying, and you need a goal you’re reaching for together.
Be Slow to Judge
When we’re apart it can be difficult to see what’s actually going on and you may find yourself making assumptions that are, at best, exaggerated and, at worst, just plain wrong.
This can manifest as becoming insanely jealous or irrationally possessive as you start imagining that their every social outing is a potential threat to the relationship. Or you could become overly critical, neurotic to the point where every hiccough becomes an omen that your relationship is doomed. When your partner doesn’t call when he or she is supposed to, for whatever reason, this simple slip that you may have been guilty of yourself every so often yourself becomes a clear sign that they don’t want to be with you anymore.
When in fact they might be enjoying themselves at River Belle Casino, finishing up a huge work project, or simply taking some Me-Time.
Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it also makes it crazy, so be wary. Be sceptical about your feelings and remind yourself that you don’t know what’s going on. Talk to your partner before letting your insecurities run riot.
Make Communication Optional
Try to steer clear of rules saying when the two of you should talk. Let this happen organically instead.
Life happens, and it can be great to periodically have a few days to yourself. Being forced to interact because of some arbitrary rule you read on the internet or in a relationship advice book can lead to feelings of obligation and no one wants that.
Make Sure the Distance is Temporary
Without a shared vision of what your Happily Ever After means your relationship will wither and die.
You need much more than love to survive, and this means a shared vision about your future, mutual interests, and shared values. In this way, long-distance relationships need more commitment than regular ones do.