Too often people feel like they are a failure because a relationship failed. However, it’s important to look on the bright side and realize that even though things have come to an end, you have grown and learnt about yourself and life. No relationship was not worth having – even the really bad ones – because they can teach you so much about who you are and what you want.

Once the hurt has gone and you’re ready to look at what happened in your relationship that ended, take some time to really study it. You can look at what they did wrong or right, what you did wrong or right, and what society did wrong or right. All of these things will inform you about life and what you want to get out of it and your next relationship. It can also teach you how to spot any warning signs that something may be off in a new relationship, and maybe give you the tools to fix it or walk away if it isn’t going to ever be right.

Are You Good At Communicating?

This is a big one. It can be so easy to pin the blame on your ex-partner and say that they didn’t understand you or give you what you needed. Even if they are to blame for the break up – cheating, fighting with you, etc. – it’s very likely that you contributed to the problem in your own way. Take a long hard look about what caused the break up and see if you ever actually spoke up or told your partner exactly how you were feeling or what you wanted. Even if you’d been together for over a decade, your partner still can’t actually read your mind.

You don’t have to suddenly blame yourself for what happened. However, it can be helpful to see where you could improve to prevent a future relationship from going down the same tunnel.

Are You Good At Compromising?

As with communication, compromising is an essential skill to learn if you want a relationship to last. It can’t always be your way and it can’t always be their way, and other times you have less luck. Both of you need to be able to give and take in equal measures. The good news is, if you’re with someone you really fit with, it’s easy for both of you to compromise well.

It’s important to remember though that even in the best relationships, compromising will always take some work. However, if you learn from mistakes made with previous partners, you can discover how to do it in a healthy way.

Start by looking at how you behaved in your last relationship. Were you always the one who gave up on what they wanted? Or were you the one who always got to do what you wanted? Be honest with yourself. Then, look at the kind of things that you are happy to compromise on and where you draw the line. This will help you to be firm when you need to be and loosen up when it doesn’t matter as much to you.